Sisters...sisters...(think White Christmas)

To my sister, heads up, cause this blog has got you ALL over it!! And if there is anything I reveal that you didn't want out there for people to read, you can kick my ass in June when I come home!!
That being said, me and my sister have a friendly wager placed between us. We both had a goal to lose weight, and both had generally the same goal date. We (me and sis) are in a wedding at the end of June. Julie, my friend since I was 12, is getting married. Now for a slice of confusion...my sister Amy is Julie's sister-in-law. Julie's older brother, married my sister. Our families have been around each other for about 18 years now.
Anyways, me and Amy are bridesmaids. So...I started trying to lose some weight after Christmas. I have done okay-ish, I kind of dropped off on the actual working out part, but am still eating a hell of a lot better! When I started moving to my new apartment everything on the weight loss front got put on hold. So, I needed a new found motivation, a fire to be lit under my ass, Amy be thy name!
So I gave Amy a call the other day, no answer, so I left a voice-mail. "Hey, it's me, just had an idea, if your game, and still wanting/needing to lose weight. Call me. Bye."
So here's the idea... if she is still in the weight-loss game like I am. Let's do what every other warm-blooded human being would do and make it interesting, let's put some money on it!! (you're laughing, but you know deep down that when there is money on the line for something it makes you work harder).
So, she calls back, I explain my plan. And, she's on board!! Not only on board, but to the tune of $100 on board.
The rules go like this folks, our goal date is June 30th. We both have set amount of lbs. we each want to lose by this time. If Amy makes her goal weight and I don't, I owe her $100. If I make my goal, and she doesn't, that's a lovely $100 to me. If we both make our goal, we are going to treat ourselves to an AMAZING meal and go balls out on the bill, we've decided sushi and libations at Ocean Zen. In other words, win win situation! Unless I lose, so maybe not so much win win. Anyways... to my sister, may she who loses most, win the most!!
I will not share my sister's stats, cause that's just asking to get killed. But I will inform you that when this wager was placed, just about 4 days ago...my weight was 173. My goal, 155! As of April 1st I am going to shake hands with Jillain again and get my "30-Day Shred" on. And Amy don't think I didn't notice all the newly posted workout plans on Pinterest...

But folks, I am going to praise this chic for a bit. My sister, she is AWESOME!! Somehow, amidst being a mom to 2 fantastic kids (Macklen and Maggie), being a high school teacher and doing all the extra things that involves, she got her masters just a short while ago...also while being a mom and teacher. She is currently teaching an on-line college course, helping Julie plan and decorate her wedding reception, planning and hosting ways to help her students raise money for the trip they are making. Which she does once every couple of years, takes a group of high schoolers abroad. Did I mention she is a mom too?...with 2 kids? She's organized, crafty, insanely talented, incredibly patient, and she's my big sister. Writing this last part has started me crying... My sister is also one of the few people I have at home that when I talk to them on the phone it feels like I'm right there and have never left! She supports the decisions I have made in my life, no matter how insane.
Amy, you are my sister, you are my friend, you are a great wife, you are an amazing mother, and you are SO going to owe me $100 on June 30th!!!

the following blog is rated R....

The title of this should be taken seriously, anyone under 18 should be accompanied by an adult while reading this. The R rating has been given because of strong language, gratuitous sexual comments, drug reference, and brief nudity. Okay, the last one is bullshit, but...you have been properly warned!!!
So, I have recently moved in to a new apartment. This building is by no means new. I was attracted to it for a lot of the "oldness" if you will. Great woodwork, old doors that still have the skeleton keys, my 80-year-old Ukrainian land-lady named Olga. The previous couple that lived here were very nice, I only met the girl, but she said if she weren't moving out of state she would stay in the apartment. She was a very shy girl, wholesome looking if know what I mean. Not ugly, just quiet, kinda nerdy, homebody.
So the moving in begins... you know how it is when you get a new place, you open all the cabinets, closets, drawers. See what your working with, what kind of space and storage you got going on, and start planning where to put everything. I have a lot of kitchen storage in this place, good thing, cause I am a slave to kitchen gadgets! So, I pop open a drawer to put my silverware in, and HELLO porn stashed away in there!!! Yup kids, there was a porn in my kitchen drawer, the place where my silverware will sleep has been tainted by "Naughty and Next Door". An "Adam & Eve" production starring Abbey Rode! And judging by this cover Mrs. Abbey "rode" a lot in this, literally! So after discovering this little gem of previous tenant leftovers I almost pissed myself from laughing so hard! So then it was a mission, what the hell else did Sandra Dee leave behind. Well, that's Sandra Dee to the unknowing judging-you-based-on-looks first impression that I got from her. To my disappointment, that was it. The porn stood alone...or did it.
So, I took a drawer out of the built in wall dresser that's in the master bedroom. The side of it needed to be tacked on a little better. My handyman Mr. Handsome was here, he removed the drawer completely and on doing so I hear "What the hell?..." Yes, ladies and gentlemen, another tenant leftover had been discovered, a small pill box, which did have a few lingering pills in it. And a signed William Shatner biography, signed by Bill Shatner himself. Again, I'm laughing hard, but also picturing it all in my head. Was this normal Sandra Dee actually bat-shit-crazy-town?? Did she secretly love Billy Shatner so much that she fantasized about him and her starring in "Naughty and Next Door 2: Stardate 69"? And was she so taken over by this fantasy that only medication could help and she had to hide that shame too in a pill box under a dresser drawer? This lead me and Mr. Handsome to re-trace the area, scour the apartment again for anymore trinkets of tenants past. But, nothing, the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow that day would only be one Billy Shatner...or would it?
Typical day in the new abode, just showered, doing some hair drying in the bathroom. I was preforming the old flip the head over and dry the under part of the hair. When done, flipped head back to up-right position and looked up, and something on top of the light fixture above the medicine cabinet caught my eye. Because what I was looking at, also had eyes. I could make out the head of what looked to be some wood carved figurine.  I climbed on top of the toilet to retrieve this little guy. But how did i know it was a guy you ask? Well, from the ENORMOUS penis that was also carved onto to my newly found tri-podded friend. Two inches tall he stands and 1-inch of that is penis! Apparently, after showing many people pictures of this. Cause you know I showed everybody I could. (fyi, if you would like a picture of this to quench your curiosity, text me, I'll get it to you post haste!) This little guy, well...little in height, but not little in the wiener department, is a fertility god figurine.
Okay, let's recap here....porn, pills, signed book from The Shatner, and fertility god. What the hell was going on here? Some love makin', pill takin', porn watchin', hopeful baby makin'???
It's too funny, I can't make this shit up people! And I'm not gonna lie...I hope to find more, it's like a game now to me. Unlocking the secrets of tenants past.
I leave you with one final thing. Upon asking Sandra Dee about the neighbors above, and across from us..."are they loud?...nice?...etc. Sandra answers "Honestly I have never seen the people above here, but I have met the people across the hall and they are great. No one is loud." Thank you Sandra, you have been helpful. But, now that we have assessed that Sandra is not normal from our little findings, I have found that she must be deaf! My upstairs neighbors must not have jobs, or they themselves are in the porno biz and making movies above my bedroom!! They have the squeaky bed, that is on the squeaky floor, and let me tell you, this is no sweet love makin' my friends, this is some serious humpin' going on!!! Wait a second....Naughty and Next Door?!?! Holy shit, my neighbor is Abbey Rode isn't it?! Wonder if she will sign my porn? Then I can display it next to Billy, on my mantle...next to my fertility god.

Excuse me...motivation? Why did you leave without saying goodbye?

My strategy, too much at once. I want instant gratification. I want to take over the world in a day. I want life changing results in the matter of a hot second! But wait...this can't happen? This timeline isn't sensible? Well...sad to say this is the truth. My cup runn-eth over right now of things (brace yourself for a massive run-on sentence) to clean, paint, remove paint off of, stuff I still need to move to my new apartment, furniture I need to purchase for this apartment, groceries I need to buy, already purchased groceries I need to use before they expire, clothes I need to wash, clothes that have been washed and need to be put away, books I want/need to read so I can return them to their rightful owners. And then there are the biggies!!...The weight I want to lose, and a total re-vamp of things at my job.
I was totally commited to my new weight-loss regime as of a month ago, I was making it happen, eating healthy, working out, I had dropped about 13 pounds and a few inches. Now, well, perfect example, I could be up off my ass working out right now, but instead I'm blogging about not having the motivation any more. Ironic? No. Lazy? Yes.
I let the thought of failure get me every damn time! If I keep plugging away at something and see the journey through to the end and nothing has changed, I don't appreciate the journey, instead I give myself over to being a "failure". Therefore, if I just stop going after whatever goal I have put forth for myself, that's it to me, it's just over, I didn't "fail" per say, I made a decision that it's just over. Is this protection from my own conscious? I believe that it is. This HAS to change!! ASAP!!
I know I previously wrote a blog about not taking anyone's shit anymore. I apparently need to include myself on that list of people!! I am my own worst critic, my own worst enemy, and the biggest negative voice to myself! To all of you that read this, I'm going to say this out loud (as I type it). I WILL OVERCOME THIS!!! Now, I can be held accountable for this, it's out there!
I will lose the weight, I will be better at my job, I will get this apartment organized, I will make egg salad with my almost expired eggs so a dozen eggs don't go in the trash! I've done bigger things than this list, and have conquered!! And having said this, I am now going to pat myself on the back for a few accomplishments! :
- I have lost 13 pounds, and am wearing a size 10. I haven't worn a size 10 since...well, did I ever wear a size 10?
- I stopped drinking almost every night of the week, I rarely go out anymore. My pocket-book appreciates this as well as my body. I don't feel like hammered shit when I wake up of a morning.
- I have become crafty. I have embraced the world of DIY. I have made jewelery, clothes, and soon paint, and homemade household cleaners.
- I am a great cook. Mr. Handsome has been bragging about my cooking for days now, a-thank you.
I actually have quite a few more, now that I think about it. So, yay to me!
I end this today with an apology. Dear Motivation, you packed up and left. I'm sorry I wasn't a better hostess. But, I would like to invite you back, and ask that you stay longer, after all I do have an extra bedroom now. You can set-up shop there (even though Rita has already staked claim on it). We'll hang out, get closer and hopeful start a life-long relationship. I can't promise you'll get 100% of my attention all the time. In fact, there will be days of kicking and screaming, and flat out "No, I will not acknowledge you today!" But, I promise to pay more attention than I have. And bottom line I will treat you as more of a friend and less of an enemy.

My that collection is....interesting

Collecting. How does this start? What makes you go, "Yes I need many items of the same thing to display." I have collected a lot of things. When I was little my room was filled with clowns, creepy now to me, but at the time cute, kiddie and fun. A little older, I was a tom boy, I got into basketball, therefore I started collecting basketball cards. I had tons of basketball cards, a few of which I wish I had to this day. However, now I think the NBA is a complete load of money-hungry jack offs that need a reality bitch-slap to the face! It's not fun to watch anymore, it's all about endorsements, money and all this other shit that has nothing to do with playing the actual sport. Sorry, I could write a whole other blog about that one topic, so anyways...
My junior high-ish years, what do they call that now "tweens"?? Whatever, at this point my parents had just built a new house, so me and my sister got to do (within reason)  what we wanted as far as how our rooms would be decorated. I went with a Coca-Cola theme. I had so much Coke shit it was disgusting! I even had Coca-Cola wallpaper. I also believe that was the first year of the Coca-Cola polar bears, doubling my collection to a two-for-one! Funny isn't it, how when you start a collection and your friends and family catch wind of said collection you can now bank on every holiday that requires gifts, including your birthday, you are getting something to help you build onto your collection. I received these gifts, and am guilty of being the giver of collection gifts, ask my sister the Gone With the Wind collector! I've found that for me this is unavoidable. I no longer have a Coca-Cola collection, again grown older and moved on to something else. At this point in my life, and honestly for quite a few years now it's all Irish things that have become my collection de-jour. I believe that I have become so involved with it that I may have convinced myself I am full blooded Irish and could possibly debate how horrible the potato famine was. (did that even happen in Ireland?)
I don't have all things Irish displayed in my new home, however I am guilty of purchasing clothing with clovers on it, books of Irish history, calenders with pictures of Ireland. I love Ireland, and will someday go, and hope to maybe come back with the Irish accent, which would truly make my collection complete!
To those of you who have given me Irish gifts, I love all of them and please keep them coming. But if you come at me with a Coca-Cola trinket, a basketball card, or the dreaded clown I will warn you now, I do not accept your gift! To all collectors no matter your pleasure, keep on keepin' on!

mediocraty is for suckers!!

I refuse to sit in the back seat of my life anymore!! This is going to be a big fat blog of selfishness, cause dammit I am entitled. I am SO tired of worrying about what other people think!! I am tired of being afraid to "rock the boat" because I'm afraid of what the outcome is going to be! I am tired of not doing or saying something because of the effect it will have on the other person, or person's!!
To all of you who know me, you are probably thinking that this is a load of shit. Shannon? She cares what people think? Shannon, really? That loud-mouth doesn't speak her mind?? Well my friends hate to burst that bubble but yes, in a lot of ways I'm what you would call a people pleaser. I don't necessarily care if people like me, it's more of making sure everyone is comfortable and okay. I have done this for a LONG time, and now, I'm done!! D-O-N-E!!
I need to be okay, I need to be comfortable, I need to succeed, I need to prosper!!
Now, don't misunderstand this and think that I am going to be some insane bitch that flies off the handle on everyone at the drop of the hat. But, I will start telling people if something they are doing is negatively impacting me. I can't waste any more energy on that. I am exhausted by this. These scenarios keep me up at night. Milling situations over and over, thinking I should have said something different, reacted differently. Did I say too much, did I not say enough? BLAH, even typing these thoughts just brews up my anger at myself for turning into this type of person!!
NEWS FLASH --- Honesty is a'comin! I am going on full-blown-balls-to-the-wall communication overdrive. Look out world, Shannon is coming she isn't taking anymore negative shit, she isn't going to be passed up, she will not get lost in the crowd!
I am AWESOME!! Shouldn't I be making more people and myself aware of that everyday?! The answer is DAMN RIGHT! But you know what, I am not going to be alone on this journey. I am taking all willing and able to join me! And by joining me, you either support what I'm doing for myself, or you rise up and do it for yourself, and for the over-achiever, you do BOTH!!
Looks like I just got a package...guess what?...my balls just arrived and ladies and gentlemen, they are HUGE!!